Let's review a few things.... Portia is a whore who betrayed my trust and used me. She screwed up my mind further than it already was. I hate her so very much. My manic deprressive/bi-polar crap only got worse...much much worse. Stomach problems too...H. Pylori is very fun.

So yeah....

When avoiding her at the rave the school held I also had the greatest time in so long... and that being with Rynn. Basically from there we grew closer together over the couple weeks... and turns out... hey, I am with her, and for once in my life I have been myself and happy... and most of all, I knew I could trust her, we were friends for a long time beforehand. So we've seen the best and worst of eachother, got to know eachother and never ever thought that we'd be together so we never built up elaborate schemes or lies to make the other be with us. I know also she'd never lie to me because she knows me well enough to know I prefer truth and if I find out someone lies to me, they pay quite a toll for lieing.

Most recently I've also noticed something.... she's done so much more for me than I could ever dream anyone could do.... she's brought back the sparkle in my eye, whatever it is, the life... you know, I no longer have a dead lifeless stare anymore, I look like I have a soul again! What more, I have been able to trust her and relax and be myself.... I never thought I could have that with anyone. I knew in every relationship before that they all failed from the start to do anything like Rynn has done for me. Not to mention... I love her with every fiber of my being. I need not question or fear anymore. I actually have peace and happiness for the first time in five years. Which... if you knew what I've dealt with, you would find it amazing that she's done all this for me. Especially with my self-destructive behavior, she's made incredible progress.

There's all that I've said( the very very short version...) and much more I wish I could say... and I hope I didn't say anything wrong or something that can be taken wrong, but yeah, there's lots of bits and pieces of the story missing here. I don't want to make this journal too long, so some story line has been sacrificed. D:

[[kandi-spell:\> ADDICTION<3]]

But yeah... soul mate, amirite?